Many parents still have the habit of using cute baby words to replace the exact genitals. But it turns out that this is “doing more harm than good”.
With their children, parents never lack serious conversations, addressing practical issues, relating to health, safety and even the young. Among them, a basic lesson that parents need to teach children is the importance of the body as well as the autonomy of the child with his body.
Experts on sex education Melissa Carnagey said: “Chat with children to raise awareness of the body is the dialogue as soon as parents can do to ensure the health and safety of children” . Talking about body parts and self-determination to your body will lay a solid foundation for your child when dealing with difficult issues, more importantly understanding the consensus, sexual misconduct.
Parents may refer to the following guidelines from two sex education experts : Melissa Carnagey and Lydia M. Bowers for the best way to tell your child about genital issues, can
Use the correct term to name the body parts
Experts Bowers emphasized: “Body parts are the parts of the body . So words like ” penis “,” testicle “,” pussy “,” vagina ” is not bad words. Father I should be comfortable using these terms . “
“Usually, naturally and definitively, the caregiver will use the correct term for the body parts such as elbows, knees, and nose … Therefore, parts such as the penis, pussy , vagina, anus should be treated as such, “ Carnagey expert advice.
Sometimes it is not good to abuse the genitals in a cute way.
There are many reasons young children should learn the terminology that is appropriate for genitals instead of calling them cute children. One of them is to use the right language in the right context to help children communicate more clearly and coherently about their bodies. This is especially important if your child needs to talk to their doctor or caretaker about where the pain or itching is.
Carnagey adds, “Using accurate terminology also helps children prepare better and talk confidently about the changes their bodies can experience as they grow up, especially with their medical staff. or in the context of the child’s learning about his or her health. “
“When we are reluctant to use the correct term, we have infused a sense of shame, embarrassment, something that needs to be avoided or hidden,” he said. Explains Bowers. According to her, the use of the standard name also helps teach children how to care, keeping the body clean, healthy.
Avoid cute childish words
Although many parents tend to use child-friendly euphemisms or language when talking to young children about their bodies, this can lead to worrisome trouble.
Carnagey points out, “One problem that can be encountered is that there are too many alternative terms and many of them have different meanings.” The potential risk here is that it can lead to infantile conditions. Misunderstandings, especially if the child has undergone unsafe sex in the genital area and need to report the incident.
Children should also be taught how to distinguish the parts that are considered private in the body and how to correctly name the parts. Thanks to this, children can communicate clearly if they are unfortunately touched.
Bowers explains, “Sometimes we put intimate names for organs. For example, the penis is” bird “, the clitoris is” butterfly. “But like when we Teaching children other body parts such as ‘toe’ is actually called ‘toe’, ‘head’ is properly called ‘head’, the child also needs to know the correct terminology for the private parts. On the body, if we use a cute name just because we feel embarrassed, we have planted the idea that some parts of the body are dirty, ugly or shameful. “
Teach children about their autonomy in everyday situations
“Creating a family culture where people’s boundaries are respected is an important step,” Carnagey said . Parents can do this by not compelling children to share their feelings with others and form the habit of asking the child to ask for permission before engaging in intimate or intimate behavior. For example, would you say “Mom hugged me?” Instead of “Hugging Mother”.
Parents and caregivers can teach children autonomy in their daily lives, such as in a meal. Carnagey describes a situation: ” When a child says that he or she has finished or has eaten, avoid the risk of a parent-child confrontation by not squeezing the baby. I have to eat the whole bowl of rice, so the parents show respect for the body signal sent from the baby – they are full, can not eat anymore. “
As Bowers says, there are many opportunities for teaching children the right to self-control, such as reading to children, watching movies with their children, parents can say things like “Prince should When you’re sleeping, how can a princess say yes or no? “
Teaching children how to protect themselves is very important (Illustration).
However, according to sex education experts, there are times when parents should not rigidly apply the question of early adoption. For example, when changing diapers for children, taking them to a doctor for a medical examination or medical attention, bathing a baby. It is not necessary to ask children for permission in these cases when they can not do it themselves.
Bowers explained, “If we ask a child, ‘Can I change my diaper?’ And children say ‘No,’ so we have only two choices: either violating your child’s ‘self-sufficiency’, or letting your child wear dirty diapers – potentially dangerous to your health and wellbeing. Instead, we should give a specific quote and explanation to the child: ‘It is time to change the baby, and the body has already done the work of putting the waste out. I’m going to remove this diaper … I’ll use this towel … ‘By the way, we can still show our baby, our bodies deserve to be respected and that we are very clear. When the child is fully informed about the implementation process . “